Brighterdays4you’s Weblog

Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse – Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures…

PRESSURE TACTICS – Rushing you to make decisions through “guilt-tripping”and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do…

Abusing Authority – Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are “the truth”); telling you what to do; making big decisions; using “logic…”

Disrespect – Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family…

Abusing trust – Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous…

breaking promises – Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with childcare or housework…

emotional withholding – Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights or opinions…

minimizing, denying and blaming – Making light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn’t happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it…

economic control – Interfering with your work or not letting you work; re fusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies…

self-destructive behavior – Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss)…

isolation – Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go…

harassment – Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; checking up on you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked…

ACTS OF VIOLENCE

intimidation – Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out shouting you; driving recklessly…

destruction – Destroying your possessions (e.g., furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things…

Threats – Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others…

sexual violence – Degrading treatment based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts…

physical violence – Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others; slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shooting; etc…

weapons – Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love…